UNCOMMON COURTESY

 

Many years ago, a friend of mine (Matt) was traveling for business.  When he came back he told me this story.  I believe this took place in Sweden, although I could be wrong.

 

The morning of Matt’s first day, a colleague from his company picked him up at the hotel. When they arrived at the building, his colleague parked in one of the last parking spots available – actually the furthest spot from the front doors. 

 

While they were walking in, Matt said, “Why did you park all the way out here?  We are the first ones to arrive at work.  We can park in the first spot by the doors.” 

 

To which his Swedish colleague replied, “That is exactly why I parked all the way out here.  Someone may be running late today and they will need the first spot.  I am hoping to save it for that person.”


How will you show uncommon courtesy today?

The Mentor Leader

I recently read the book, The Mentor Leader, by Tony Dungy.  Among many awesome insights to leadership that I gathered throughout, one of the most profound paragraphs in the entire text was this brief story.  It is a reflection of a CEO of a Fortune 500 Company, an unnamed friend of Mr. Dungy’s.

I had long known that I could influence whether or not my employees had a good day; it was fairly obvious that I held sway over that, for better or worse. But one day, as I drove home, trying to fight off a dark cloud from a tough day's work and trying not to let it affect my family when I walked through the front door, I realized that many if not all of my direct reports were experiencing the same thing. If they weren’t able to compartmentalize their frustration, anger, and irritation, then they were going to take those toxic feelings into their homes. I don’t simply have an impact on my direct reports - there is an exponential effect on those around them as well, based in no small part on their interactions with me.

This reminds me of the Liberty Mutual pay-it-forward commercials in which random acts of kindness extend far beyond a person’s initial intention.  It is a good reminder to keep in mind the magnitude of our impact on others.  It extends far beyond the person you are presently dealing with. 

Will your next interaction leave that person wanting to inspire or tear down the next person they encounter?

The smartest kids in the world

I recently read the book, The Smartest Kids in the World, by Amanda Ripley.  She followed three high school students who leave the United States to be foreign exchange students in Korea, Finland, and Poland.  She synthesized and analyzed the biggest differences between the American education system with those of what she considers (and provides evidence via the PISA scores) better. 

For the most part, those educational systems are not immensely different from the United States.  However, the most critical difference she points out is that students in other countries (namely Korea, Finland, and Poland) take school seriously and it is challenging to them.  The students in those countries see education as THE pathway to life success.

Why?

One reason, she argues, is because of their high stakes end of year exams.  You are only allowed to take it once and it is tough!

She argues that we (the United States) need to do a better job at making high school matter.

 

She also includes a survey from 202 foreign exchange students (representing 22 different countries)

1. there is more technology in US schools

2. less difficulty/challenge in US schools

3. there is more emphasis on sports in US schools

4. teachers are more likely to praise students in US schools

5. teachers form better relationships with the students in the US schools

 

MY RESPONSE

There is always a great deal of hesitation when I read about or even try to compare educational systems among different countries.  Heck, this is even true for me when comparing school districts that are 10 miles from one another.  The reason for this is that they have a different DNA.  We (different school districts, states, even countries) can still learn from other each other, but I hesitate greatly when comparing for the intention of ranking and determining best practices.  Each school needs to really dissect their population, goals, and objectives to determine what works best for them.  I argue against a cookie cutter approach to education (although there are certainly themes that characterize a quality school – but that is for another post).

I am not convinced that an end of the year high stakes exam would make such dramatic positive improvements to the motivation of our students as Ripley proposes. 

This book helped remind me that although we are pretty good at developing meaningful relationships and providing feedback to our students – this is not enough.  It is equally important that we set high standards of what we expect our students to be able to achieve and hold them accountable to reach those expectations. 

What is your take?

UPSETS

I am a huge fan of upsets.  I do not really have a favorite sports team.  More often than not, I root for the underdog.  I love seeing upsets and I love upset stories.  Well I have one for you.

It’s a snow day.  I am playing the card game “War” with my ten-year-old son and eight-year-old daughter.  We play with the jokers – they act as the highest two cards. 

 Starting off the game, I had both jokers, my son had three aces, and my daughter had one lowly ace.  It did not take long for me to take my son’s three aces through a war and shortly thereafter my daughter’s sole ace as well.  The game was clearly in my hands when my son bowed out, holding strong for awhile though with a jack as his high card.  So the table is now set for a quick finish.  I held the top six cards (four aces and two jokers).  My daughter had a few face cards and a bunch of low ones.

What happened next, I still cannot comprehend.  It was a triple, yes triple, war.  I had been involved with numerous double wars, but never a triple.  It was crazy.  My son and daughter were going nuts at the table – likely waking my wife from her nap upstairs.  And I lost it.  I lost one joker and two aces.  Bad, but not horrible.  I was still in the game – it was even.

Up next – a double war.  In it, yes, I lost my final joker and another ace.  All I held now was an ace as my high card and a few other face cards.  There is no way this is really going to happen.

But it did.  In another war, I lost my final ace.  It literally took all but 3 minutes for my daughter to wipe the floor with the rest of my cards and I was out.

How does that happen!?!?  She started the game as a clear, clear underdog.  And at one point it was just her and I and I held the top six cards!  The top six!  No one in their right mind would have said that the eight-year-old is going to beat “pops” (longstanding veteran of the card game war).  But she did.

And I love upsets, so I quickly set off to my computer to record it. 

So the next time you think you are going up against an insurmountable foe, think of my eight-year-old daughter who never quit even though the cards were stacked against her.

 

What is your greatest upset?

PLN Blogging Challenge

No better way for me to close out 2013 and ring in 2014 than to get back to blogging.  Thanks to Dwight Carter (@Dwight_Carter) for assigning the homework :)



11 Random Facts About Myself
(I cheated a little and used Dwight's list as a guide)
1. I have never owned a new car.
2. I have had one cup of coffee in my life. I was about seven years old and kept nagging my dad to allow me to have some.  I was forced to drink it all, black - now I will never taste it again!
3. My favorite music comes from Toby Mac.
4. My personal health and fitness are important to me.
5. I was born in Munster, Indiana.
6. My wife was an all-state basketball and volleyball player (and Homecoming queen)
7. The only tv I watch (besides sports) is Duck Dynasty and Call of The Wildman (Turtleman!)
8. If there was one sport I wish I was really good at - it would be basketball.
9. I enjoy hiking.
10. I can juggle.
11. In my 15 years of playing soccer, I have had a stress fracture in my back, fracture in my leg, fracture in my foot, broke collar bone, torn both MCLs, and broken two ribs.


My 11 Responses To Dwight's Questions
1. What’s the best book you’ve read in the last year?
How Children Succeed by Paul Tough and Whatever It Takes (also by Paul Tough)
2. What person in history would you want to have dinner with?
Living - My wife, Bridgett
Historical - Old Testament Joseph
3. What’s the one thing you care about the most?
My relationship with Christ and my family (wife, Bridgett; son, Landon; daughter, Brooklyn)
4. Who is your all time favorite cartoon character?
This is horrible, but none.  I never got into cartoons.
5. What was your favorite extracurricular activity in high school?
Soccer
6. Growing up, were you a nerd, jock, teacher’s pet, loner, or extravert?
Eww..tough question DC. I try not to think about that time in my life anymore...haha!
7. What’s your dream vacation?
Simple - cabin in the deep woods.
8. What’s one thing you would invent that would positively change lives?
Dang, another tough question. A box that you can put pet dogs in to clean them after they are outside so they don't bring dirt and smellyness all into the house.  Haha!  That would positively change my life!
9. If you weren’t an educator, what would do for a living?
Personal Trainer or Police Officer
10. If you were to give a TED Talk, what would be your topic?
Something to do with the power of work ethic
11. What’s your sentence?
I have never thought about this before.  I have been sitting here for nearly 30 minutes trying to think of something.  It is a work in progress.  I am going to go read with my daughter, so I will instead leave one of my favorite recent quotes I have heard.

Things come to those who wait, but only what is left over from those who hustle.