Last night I returned from a long day of work and my son’s soccer practice around 8:15. My wife said that my daughter (Brooklyn) was having her cousin (Alena) stay the night and I needed to take them to the Alena’s house to get her stuff. The girls were out riding bikes somewhere and I did not want to wait any longer to do that task so I jumped in my car searching the neighborhood for them. I quickly found them at the end of the street with two other kids about the same age (my daughter is 10).
I pulled over to them and rolled
down the passenger window and was talking with my daughter, Brooklyn. I asked what she was doing and told her to get
home so we can go to Alena’s house and get her stuff. Brooklyn said she did not want to go and
wanted to stay right there and keep playing.
They had been swimming earlier in the day and I noticed that Alena had
not yet changed back into her clothes with the exception of putting a shirt on
over her bathing suit. I noted to
Brooklyn that Alena doesn’t even have any clothes (meaning shorts) and we
needed to go get some since she was staying the night. Alena quickly responded by tugging up her shirt and saying she did have a bathing suit on. Brooklyn continued saying they do
not need to go to Alena’s house because she already had stuff at our house
(unbeknownst to my wife). Good enough
for me – I was ready to head back home and crash anyway.
Little did I know that a very
observant lady across the street was watching the interaction, heard some of what was being said, and
witnessed the girls’ reluctant behavior to do what I had asked. As I began to pull away I noticed the lady
walking briskly to my daughter and her friends.
By the movements of her mouth and hand/arm motions it struck me right
away what she was asking them…..”Do you know that man?!? What did he want?!?”
From the neighbor’s perspective and
limited knowledge of what was going on, I was some creep trying to get my
daughter and her cousin either in my car or asking them inappropriate things!! After I laughed off the initial
misunderstanding, I realized some interesting links to leadership and
relationships.
So as you begin your new school
year in the next few days, a few reminders:
1.
Be
clear in your communication
I
was not clear in my communication to the girls.
I should have said to my niece that she did not have any shorts on or any to change into – rather than
did not have any clothes.
It
is difficult for many (me included) to convey exact feelings and thoughts in
written words. I prefer looking at body
language and facial expressions to help me understand a person’s
intentions. Those are absent in the
written word. This year, be careful
about how you use email. Email is
great for quick, informational transactions – but remember the power in eye to
eye contact and personal touch of proximity.
2.
Ask
the right questions (before jumping to conclusions)
I
am sure the neighbor had a perception of me that was not so pleasant. She only heard part of the conversation and
had one viewpoint. However, before
jumping too quickly to a conclusion, she asked the right questions to my
daughter.
It
is amazing how many disagreements are a result of a lack of asking the right
(or even any) questions. This year,
be sure to gain an understanding of the entire picture before jumping to
conclusions.
3.
Get
each other’s back
At
first I was slightly annoyed with the neighbor’s intrusion on my conversation
with my own daughter and niece. However
when I told my wife the story she immediately expressed gratitude for the
neighbor watching out for Brooklyn and her friends. So true.
Your
colleagues and the students in your building are all on a team. This year, watch out for each other. When you notice someone on your team is down,
do something special to lift them back up.
With all the recent attacks on education and educators and negative perception of students, it is up to us to support,
encourage, and inspire one another.
